Hot Seat Critique — Saeed Faridzadeh
This is the next in a series of critiques that focuses on the creator’s Patreon outreach. Our goal is to try to workshop some best practices and strategies that work. I’m going to open the discussion with my opinions. Then members are welcomed to join in the conversation.
Here’s Saeed’s Patreon page on the day I visited.
You did a video — and you’re very good on camera! Nice job!
You made great use of art on your Patreon page!
Public posts are a great way to give potential patrons a little taste of what’s in store. It’s one of the most often-repeated tips on Patreon’s own blog — More public posts! Nicely done!
Your $9 reward is phenomenal! That’s well worth ponying up a few bucks for. It’s gonna hurt like hell, but don’t shy away from posting the video when you die onstage. Your backers are going to want to see that just as much as the ones where you kill. And it’s going to make posting the successes that much more satisfying — to both of you.
The video is waaaaay too long. Although yu’re great on camera… your material isn’t super strong. And it’s a bit of a slog to get all the way through. Some more thoughts on the video:
I’d like a closer shot. You look like you’re standing at the other end of the room. This needs to be a little more intimate than that, if you’re gonna try to make a connection with a potential patron.
See what you’re doing with your hands at the 25-second mark? You do that way to much. It’s distracting.
1-minute mark: Dividing up your audience between those who want to pay and those who don’t is the absolutely wrong tactic. They’re going to chose to let someone else pay every time. The Patreon tactic I prefer is that this is a great way to (1) support the comic you love and (2) get tons of great extras.
1:30 – 1:56: Cut. It slows down the pace way to much for a not-so-strong payoff.
2:30 – 2:37: Cut. The bookshelf gag isn’t very strong at all.
The thank-yous at the end are slow and ponderous, and the long, “well, I guess I’m done now” bit is amateurish.
The URL at the end of the video is wrong.
The music competes with your voice. It has to pod down or your voice has to get louder. Right now, the music is distracting.
I like that you added art to the pledge tiers, but the art has to be legible. That figure in the middle (under the $1 pledge) is hard to read. I don’t know what it is or what it’s doing. Part of that is a character-design flaw. Those armless, legless, floating-eye characters in your comic are huge minuses for me. And that sketch is an excellent example of why — they create a lot of ambiguity on the page.
Your sketch under the pin-up tier is one of the least sexy images I could imagine. If you’re gonna sell sex, you’re going to have to do better than that.
The $5 and $8 pledges make the common mistake of offering a one-time reward in exchange for a monthly pledge. I think that’s a recipe for failure.
In addition to being one time / monthly, you’re offering to ship physical goods at way too low a level. Your shipping charges alone are going to eat up your pledge revenue.
All current Patreon members at this level will be thanked and mentioned in any upcoming book at the time of print.
That should be a Kickstarter reward. By mixing the two, you dilute the potency of each.
Let your Patreon be a Patreon, and let your Kickstarter be a Kickstarter. Don’t offer rewards in one that should be used in the other.