Having signed up for Ello a week ago, I can think of tons of uses for the new social-media site.

• It’s a good place to keep a secret.

• Or confess to a crime.

• It’s THE place on the Web to find a little peace and quiet.

• If you’re into Hipster people-watching, you can’t go wrong.

And if you’re into pretentiousness, you may have found Nirvana. Case in point:

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